[FAO] *****M@!D*****

 THE MAID

 A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
 The wife was very upset about this and asked: 'Now
 Maria, why do you want a
 pay increase?'
 
 Maria: 'Well Seora, there are three reasons why I
 Want an increase.
 
 The first is that I iron better than you.'
 
 Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
 Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
 
 Wife: 'Oh.'
 
 Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook
 Than you.'
 Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than
 me?'
 Maria: 'Your husband did.'
 
 Wife: 'Oh.'
 
 Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover
 than you.'
 Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as
 well?'
 
 Maria: 'No Seora, the gardener did.'
 
 SHE GOT THE RAISE !

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[FAO] GTalk Tips N Tricks

GTalk Tips N Tricks :

Here are some Keyboard Shorcuts :

CTRL + Mousewheel up/down: Change the font size in a conversation window.
CTRL + E: Center text
CTRL + R: Right justify text
CTRL + L or CTRL+J: Left justify text
F9: Open Gmail to send an email to the person you talk to
F11: Start a call
F12: Stop the current call
ESC: Close the current window
Tab – Switches to next opened gtalk window. (same effect with Ctrl+tab and Shift+tab)
Shift + Tab – The same thing does that Tab but in reverse.
Ctrl + Shift + L – Switch between points, numbers, letters, capital letters, roman numbers and capital roman numbers

Bold Text : Use asterix before and after the text to make it bold. Like *hello* will make it hello.

Italic Text : Use underscores before and after the text to make it italic. Like _hello_ will make it hello.

Want to leave blank message : Just Press Shift + Enter together and meassage box will become big then leave shift and Just press Enter and the blank message will be received by your friend.


If you don't have Gtalk then Click Here to Download.

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[FAO] Weekend Fun !!!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "  Goa University "
And they say blondes are dumb...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The wife replies, "I'll miss you..."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping

for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!

And send this to five bright men who have enough sense

of humour to take it! 

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[FAO] Wish You A Very Happy Holi!!!

Click Below For More Beautiful N Exclusive Holi Cards

Exclusive Holi Cards

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[FAO] Have a funfilled Holi Dost!!!

May the joy, cheer,
Mirth and merriment
Of this divine festival
Surround you forever.
May the happiness,
That this season brings
Brighten your life
And, hope the year
Brings you luck and
Fulfills all your dearest dreams!
Happy Holi …..

********************************************************

Dear subscriber,
Your validity for taking a bath expires on this holi.
Kindly recharge the validity by taking a bath to avoid
khujli, dandruff, maeil, and badbooo …
So wish you a happy holi!

********************************************************

Bhagwaan kare aaj aapko jo bhi mile voh….

voh……

voh…

Voh aapko

hara, neela , peeela, laal gulaal lagaye

aur aapko nahane mai 2 ghante lage:P

Have a funfilled Holi Dost!!!

********************************************************

Dil Sapno se HOUSEFUL hai,
Poore honge wo doubtful hai,
Is Duniya me har Chiz Wonderful hai,
Par Zindagi aap jaise logo se HI COLOURFUL hai…
Happy Holi

********************************************************


Have u done 2 most important things 2day in morning ?

1) PRAY: so u may live & ;
2)TAKE A BATH:so others may live, Bura na mano HOLI hai…..

********************************************************
Holi Hai!
But you know what …
With you in my life each day has become
as masti bhari, khusiyan bhari as Holi!
Thank you, Dear!

********************************************************
If you fear playing holi with others
What do you do?
Fill a bucket with water and colours
and take a holi dip.

Wishing A Fantabulous Holi For you!!!

********************************************************

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[FAO] Santa Banta : Strikes Again

SANTA BANTA

   Funda Beggars can be choosers...
Beautiful Red Underwear
Santa caught unzipping!
Gay or Not

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[FAO] Highlights of Union Budget 2010-11

Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee presented the Union Budget 2010-11 in parliament on Friday. Has he lived up to the expectations of the taxpayers? Is it a populist Budget? Will it also help India to grow? To find out read on..

Highlights...

• FM prunes tax rates:
  Income up to Rs 1.6 lakh - nil Income above Rs 1.6 lakh and up to Rs 5 lakh - 10 per cent
  Income above Rs 5 lakh and up to Rs 8 lakh - 20 per cent
  Income above Rs 8 lakh - 30 per cent.
• Income Tax department ready with two-page Saral-2 return forms for individual salaried assesses.
• New tax rates would offer relief to 60 per cent of tax-payers.
• Government's net borrowing to be Rs 3,45,010 crore for 2010-11.
• Additional deduction of Rs 20,000 allowed on long term infrastructure bonds for income tax payers; this is above Rs one lakh on saving instruments allowed already.
• A unique identity symbol would be provided to the Indian Rupee in line with US Dollar, British Pound Sterling, Euro and Japanese Yen.
• Fiscal deficit seen at 4.8 per cent and 4.1 per cent in 2011-12 and 2012-13 respectively.
• Total expenditure pegged at Rs 11.8 lakh crore, an increase of 8.6 per cent.
• Gross tax receipts pegged at Rs 7,46,656 crore for 2010-11, non-tax revenues at Rs 1,48,118 crore.
• FM appeals to "misguided elements" (left wing extremists) to eschew violence and join the mainstream.
• Planning Commission to prepare integrated action plan for Naxal-affected areas.
• Defence allocation pegged at Rs 1,47,344 crore in 2010-11 against Rs 1,41,703 crore in the previous year. Of this, capital expenditure would account for Rs 60,000 crore.
• Fiscal deficit pegged at 6.9 per cent in 2009-10 as against 7.8 per cent in the previous fiscal.
• Finance Minister to continue giving cash subsidy for fuel and fertiliser instead of previous practice of bonds.
• Non-plan expenditure pegged at Rs 37,392 crore and Plan expenditure at Rs 7,35,657 crore in budget estimates. 15 per cent increase in plan expenditure and six per cent in non-plan expenditure.

Read More

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[FAO] Good Morning !!!

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

 There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil,

 before I send you out into the world.

 Always remember them and never forget,

 and you will become the best pencil you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow

 yourself to be held in Someone's hand.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time,

 but you'll need it to become a better pencil.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.

And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.

 No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.

The pencil understood and promised to remember,

 and went into the box With purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them

 and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but

 only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand.

And allow other human beings to access you

 for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time,

 by going through various problems, but you'll need it to

 become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through,

 you must leave your mark.

No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life

 on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart.

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[FAO] Sachin Tendulkar Double Century (200 Runs)

Check out SACHIN TENDULKAR: Career Flashback

 

Tendulkar underlined his sensational class with a double century in Gwalior

Sachin Tendulkar created history with the first double century in one-day internationals as India thrashed South Africa by 153 runs in Gwalior.

The 36-year-old hit 25 fours and three sixes in an unbeaten 200 off 147 balls.

It passed the previous best of 194, set by Pakistan's Saeed Anwar in 1997 and Zimbabwe's Charles Coventry last year.

Mahendra Dhoni hit four sixes in 68 from 35 balls in a mammoth 401-3, and South Africa were 248 all out as India took an unassailable 2-0 series lead.

Tendulkar, whose previous best one-day knock was the 186 not out he scored against New Zealand in 1999, is already the leading run-scorer in Test and ODI cricket.

But to have reached such a landmark, with a single in the final over, only serves to underline his class and add to the legacy that already surrounds arguably the finest batsman to have played the game.

His innings, the 46th one-day century of his career, was typified by wristy strokes, trademark boundary shots and, above all, stamina as he batted through the entire innings.

He passed the previous best score in ODIs off 140 deliveries before taking his time over the final six runs, completing his double century with a single off Charl Langeveldt four balls from the end of the innings.

Despite clearly suffering with cramp towards the end, Tendulkar was not to be denied and the packed Gwalior crowd were in raptures as he brought up the record.

 

 

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[FAO] Valentine’s Day SMS:Hindi.

Valentines Day SMS:Hindi.


Kabhi Ajnabee se milay the
Kabhi Ajnabee se milay the,
fir yunhi miltay chale gaye,
ham to aapko dost bananewale the
magar aap to hamare dil ki dhadkan banthe chale gaye.
Happy Valentines Day jaan.

Love kaho to do lafz, mano to bandagi
Love kaho to do lafz, mano to bandagi,
socho to gehra sager,dubo to zindagi,
karo to asan, nibhao to mushkil,
bikhre to sara zamana, simte to sirf tum.

Kitna bhi chaho na bhul paoge
Kitna bhi chaho na bhul paoge
Kitna bhi chaho na bhul paoge
Hum se jitna dur jao nazdik pao ge
Humein mita sakte ho to mita do
kya sapno se juda kar pao ge humein.
HapPy VaLentine Day Jaan..!!!

Chehrey Per Banawat Ka Gussa
Chehrey Per Banawat Ka Gussa,
Aankhon Say Chalakta Pyar Bhi Hai,
Is Shauq-E-Ada Ko Kya Kahiye
Inkaar Bhi Hai Iqraar Bhi Hai..
aaj iqraar ker hi do..dear..
Happy Valentines day..

Jara Socho…
14 Feb Valentine Day Ko Loog Aisa Kya Karty Hain
Ki
Theek Nine(9) Month Baad 14 Nov Ko Children Day Manana Parta Hai??


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[FAO] Valentine's Day SMS.- English

Valentines Day SMS.

If You r asking If You r asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If You r askin if Ill Leave U the answer is Never..
If You r askin What I valuethe Answer is U..
if You r askin if I love U the answer is I do.
Walk Into My Life Swetheart!!

How much I love you There is a lot of birds whispering only about you,
you should once listen to them,
and then you would know
how much I love you.

Smiles can be given to any one Tears can sometimes be more special than smiles…
For smiles can be given to any one…
But tears are only shed for people we love!
Happy Valentines Day !

LOVING you is what i plan to do DREAMING of you makes my night worth while
THINKING of you makes me * Smile*
HAVING you is the best thing ever, and
LOVING you is what i plan to do…forever.
Happy Valentines Day.

Every time i miss you, a star falls. Every time i miss you, a star falls.
So if you ever look up at the sky and the stars are gone,
its because you made me miss you too much!
Be my Valentine!

Here is my heart, it is yours Here is my heart, it is yours so take it,
Treat it gently, please do not break it.
Its full of love thats good and true,
So please keep it always close to u.

If i capture ur heart If i reached for your hand , will u hold it ?
If i hold out my arms, will u hug me ?
If i go for your lips, will u kiss me ?
If i capture ur heart , will u love me ?

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[FAO] Valentine's Day Ideas

Valentines Day Ideas

If you are aspiring for an exquisite Valentines Day then just go through the touching valentine ideas or tips to make an ideal valentines day.

• A simple 'I Love You' with a kiss can set an awesome mood for a Valentines Day.
• Decorate his/her house with hearts, bows and ribbons.
• Make arrangements for surprise flower bouquets.
• Cook a dinner for two and decorate the room with heart-shaped candles.
• Gift him/her with velvet full of fresh Valentine days chocolates.
• A romantic note asking him/her to be your valentine.
• Send sweet love quotes.

Read More

http://www.forangelsonly.org/festivals-events/valentine-day-ideas#more-5393

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[FAO] Wish u a Very Happy Maha Shivaratri Feb 12 2010

One of the most religious Hindu festivals, Maha Shivaratri falls on the fourteenth day of the dark fortnight of Phalguna (February- March), and is dedicated to the worship of Lord Shiva, one of the principal Hindu deities. Maha Shivratri is the night when he is said to have performed the Tandava Nritya or the dance of primordial creation, preservation and destruction. The festival is observed for one day and one night only. Maha Shivratri is universally observed by all pious Hindus with fasting, singing of bhajans, recital of Sanskrit shlokas, offering of prayers, flowers, fruits and food that is specially prepared in honor of the deity and his divine consort, goddess Parvati. In keeping with the mood for the occassion, here we present you with a fabulous section on Maha Shivratri that includes splendid e-cards, wallpapers, recipes, quiz, pictures to color as also well-researched articles on the history of Maha Shivratri, rituals associated with the festival and much much more. If you like our Maha Shivratri section and want to have your dear ones have a peek into it too, Spread the spirit of the occasion to all. Jai Shiv Shambhu!

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[FAO] For My Lifelong Valentine - Poem

 

For My Wife On Valentine's Day


A note to say I love you
From the bottom of my heart
A wife to call my very own
So special from the start.

Words softly whispered
So you will know I care
A love so strong and so true
The two of us can share.

Sending a package special
Full of love right from the start
Wrapped so nice and pretty
For it holds my loving heart.

Today is a special day
One thing I'd like to say
Know how much I love you
Have a Happy Valentine's Day.

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